Letter 1

Dear Survivor:

The man who raped me is now in jail and; for a while, he won't be hurting anyone else. He won't be pointing guns at anyone, he won't tell anyone he will hurt them if they don't do what he says, he won't create fear in anyone, he won't keep me awake all night wondering if he will find me and kill me, and he won't continue to make me a victim any longer. When I was raped, I had a choice to make. Was I going to let him get away with it because of my addiction and because I work the streets? Would I be able to go through a whole legal process without breaking down or giving up? Would my addiction tell me that this wasn't that important?…

After 5 days of deliberation, the jury found him guilty. When I heard the word “guilty”, I cried. It was me who took this rapist off the streets. It was me who had saved maybe one person from being violated by this man. It was me protecting my daughter from him and others like him. It was me who did something that would eventually take away my nightmares and my fears. It was me who realized that I was worthwhile; a good and decent person. I will do my best to get my life in order and with the help that I have received, I think that I will do OK.

I am proud of what I did and how I was able to endure the rape, the hospital emergency room, the police questioning, the lawyers, the never-ending days in court, the threats from his friends, the tears, and the fears. It was all difficult, but I would do it again because I can feel safe now.